Deeply Present

I met three new moms recently that were all so calm, grounded, and present with their kids.  I couldn’t stop thinking about them being such a good example of motherhood.  All three of them told me the same thing. 

Each of them, separately, gently said to me “oh, I don’t have social media.”

Two of them had babies asleep among them on the grass on a blanket.  One of them was nursing her baby and toddler.  None of them were overstimulated or bothered by the noise of the total of 15 children among the four of us. 

One was talking about knitting each of hers a sweater before the cold weather comes.  Another was talking about a book she couldn’t put down and read in a few days.  All were talking about what they were cooking for dinner or what funny thing their husband or kid said recently. 

And I realized the feeling that washed over me was that they were deeply present.  There was no pinging them away.  There were no distractions.  They weren’t depleted because they used their energy to be present rather than trying to get away. 

This blog post will have terrible reach.  Right?  Because google won’t push a post that’s talking about how the internet is fueling our distraction and disinterest in our children (or, really, our real lives in general).

What feels like energy depletion sometimes can truly just amount to energy mismanagement.  A misalignment.  And we need to take some of the responsibility for that but, also, that’s what they spend millions of dollars a year trying to encourage, right?

Because the longer we spend on our phones each day, the more likely we are to buy something.  They less likely we are to be satisfied by our real lives.  The more we will scroll, click, and reshare. 

But I have to be honest with you, I have seen them in the wild: the moms who opt out.  They are lighter.  They are engaged. 

We all crave connection.  It's human nature.  We will seek it and we will find it.  We have to for survival.  But where are we doing that?  On these apps where the energy output is low?  Or in our homes with our families?

This feels easier some days.  Because it's an escape from being present.  Its a looking out versus looking in.  And I would challenge us all to think about that.  This is not a blog post to sell you anything.  This is not click bait.  This is what I have been thinking about endlessly.  It's something I cannot get out of my brain.  So I had to share it with y'all ❤️